如何跟室友相处?给大学生的10条建议

大学四年的的生活中,与我们联系最为紧密的就是朝夕相处的室友们。也许你们惺惺相惜,成为了很好的朋友。也许气场不和,总有各种各样的矛盾,无法共处一室

但无论如何,如何与室友相处,都是我们曾经思考过的问题。本期的文章就提供了10个小建议,希望能帮助你度过四年愉快的宿舍时光

You may have grown up living with lots of siblings, or this may be your first time sharing your living space with someone else. While having a roommate inevitably has its challenges, it can also be a great part of your college experience.

可能你有许多兄弟姐妹,你们一起生活,一起长大。也可能这是你第一次跟别人同室起居。虽说与他人同住,总少不了这样那样的麻烦,但这会是你大学生活中一段极为重要的经历

Follow these ten tips to make sure you and your roommate keep things pleasant and supportive throughout the year (or even years!).

想在同住的这一年甚至数年里,大家和睦互助,不妨试试下面的十个要诀

1. Be clear about your expectations from the beginning

1.“丑话”得要说在前

Do you know in advance that you hate it when someone hits the snooze button1 fifteen times every morning? That you’re a neat freak? That you need ten minutes to yourself before talking to anyone after you wake up? Let your roommate know as soon as you can about your little quirks and preferences. It’s not fair to expect him or her to pick up on2 them right away, and communicating what you need is one of the best ways to eliminate problems before they become problems.

你事先知道自己讨厌别人每天早上按掉15次闹铃还不起床吗?知道自己有洁癖吗??知道自己睡醒之后还得再过10分钟才想开口说话吗?这些小小怪癖和喜好都要尽早跟室友说明。想让别人马上就觉察到这些细节,未免强人所难。良策之一是坦诚相告,防患于未然。

[1] snooze button 闹钟上的延时按钮,按下此按钮闹铃声停止,但短时间内会再次响起,用于反复提醒定闹铃人起床。

[2] pick up on注意到(不容易注意的事情)。

2. Address problems when they’re little

2. 及时化解小矛盾

Is your roommate always forgetting her stuff for the shower, and taking yours? Are your clothes being bor- rowed faster than you can wash them? Addressing things that bug you while they’re still little can help your roommate be aware of something she may not otherwise know. And addressing little things is much easier than addressing them after they’ve become big.

同寝姑娘洗澡时是不是经常忘记带洗浴用品,拿你的来用?才洗好的衣服,是不是马上又会被一件接一件地借走?烦心之事虽小,也要及时提醒,不然她可能还浑然不觉。小事说开了很容易化解,积怨成仇就不好办了。

3. Respect your roommate’s stuff

3. 他人物品别乱动

This may seem simple, but it’s probably one of the biggest reasons why roommates experience conflict. Don’t think he’ll mind if you borrow his cleats for a quick soccer game3? For all you know, you just stepped over an uncrossable line. Don’t borrow, use, or take anything without getting permission first.

这点看似简单,可如果做不到,却是室友间失和的主要原因之一。不过穿他的钉鞋去踢会儿球,他不会在意吧?你可要知道,你已经越过了一条不该逾越的界线。除非事先征得本人同意,否则不要借、用、拿室友的任何个人物品。

[3] quick soccer game 一种小型足球比赛, 参加人数较正规比赛少(如每队五人)。

4. Be mindful of who you bring into your room – and how often

4. 来客不可将人扰

You may love having your study group into your room. But your roommate may not. Be mindful of how often you bring people over. If your roommate studies best in the quiet, and you study best in a group, can you alternate who hits4 the library and who gets the room?

也许你喜欢叫上学习小组同学寝室一起学习,可你的室友未必喜欢。注意:不要频繁带人进寝室。如果室友觉得安静氛围最利学习,而你学习时喜欢与人讨论,你们不妨轮流使用寝室,一个人要用寝室,另一个人就去图书馆

[4] hit 去(某地)。

5. Lock the door and windows

5. 寝室门窗要锁好

This may seem like it has nothing to do with roommate relationships, but how would you feel if your roommate’s laptop got stolen during the ten seconds it took you to run down thehall5? Or vice versa? Locking your door and windows is a critical part of keeping safe on campus.

这点看似跟室友间相处得好与不好没什么关系,可也许就是你去走廊打个转的工夫、也就十秒钟,室友的笔记本电脑就让人偷走了,到那时你作何感想?如果这个丢东西的人换成是你,你又作何感想?在校园生活中,要保障人身财产安全,锁好门窗可是至关重要的一环。

[5] hall 此处同 hallway,走廊、过道。

6. Be friendly, without expecting to be best friends

6. 室友无须变挚友

Don’t go into6 your roommate relationship thinking that you are going to be best friends for the time you’re at school. It may happen, but expecting it sets both of you up for7 trouble. You should be friendly with your roommate but also make sure you have your own social circles.

不必费心费力地想把室友变成大学时期最好的朋友。虽然不是不可能,但期待过高只会给彼此带来困扰。要与室友和睦相处,但也要有自己的社交圈子

[6] go into 此处指(将时间、精力)用在,用于(某事)。

[7] set somebody up for 把某人置于某种境地

7. Be open to new things

7. 乐于接受新事物

Your roommate may be from someplace you’ve never heard of. They may have a religion or lifestyle that is completely different from your own. Be open to new ideas and experiences, especially as it relates to what your roommate brings into your life. That’s why you went to college in the first place, right?!

也许你的室友从一个你闻所未闻的地方而来,你们的宗教信仰和生活方式可能完全不同。要以开放的心态看待新观念尝试新事物,当这些是因你的室友而接触到的时候,尤应如此。这不正是你上大学的初衷吗?

8. Stay open to change

8. 勇于改变应万变

You should expect to learn and grow and change during your time at school. And the same should happen to your roommate, if all goes well. As the semester progresses, realize things will change for both of you. Be comfortable addressing things that unexpectedly come up, setting new rules, and being flexible to your changing environment.

学期间,你要自我学习、 自我成长、自我改变。如果一切顺利的话,你的室友也应如此。要明白,随着学期向前推进,大家都会有所改变。意料之外的事时有发生,要从容应对。要定新规,随机应变。

9. Address problems when they’re big, too

9. 矛盾升级得处理

You may not have been totally honest8 with tip #2, or you may suddenly find yourself with a roommate who goes wild9 after being shy and quiet the first two months. Either way, if something gets to be a big problem quickly, deal with it as soon as you can.

也许你并没有照着第二条要诀说的那样去做,又或许,你突然发现,头两个月还腼腆文静的室友原来是个暴脾气——无论哪种情况,一旦事情有愈演愈烈的趋势,要尽快处理。

[8] honest 如实的,不作假的。

[9] be/go wild 感情强烈的(尤指生气、激动或高兴)。

10. If nothing else, follow the golden rule

10. 黄金法则记牢

Treat your roommate like you’d like to be treated. No matter what your relationship is at the end of the year, you can take comfort knowing you acted like an adult and treated your roommate with respect.

你希望别人怎么对待你,你就怎么对待别人。待学年将尽,无论你们相交深浅,只要你展现出了成年人气度,给予了室友应有的尊重,那就可以安心了。