马刺小将沃克剪去高耸辫子头 自揭幼时遭性虐「头发成了我的面具」

马刺小将沃克剪去高耸辫子头,自曝儿时遭性侵。(图/达志影像美联社,下同)

记者游郁香综合报导

高耸的辫子头是马刺21岁小将沃克(Lonnie Walker IV)的独特标记,他却在本周理成平头,并在个人IG揭开关于「头发」的悲伤故事。他自曝小学5年级时遭到亲戚性侵和性虐待,当时的他懵懂无知,却留下挥之不去的梦魇;当他感到不安时,头发成了他的面具,现在他决定剪去伤痛,迎向新生

马刺2年级生沃克最近因为协助清理黑人抗争活动现场涂鸦,并为其他志工送水的温心举动,登上新闻版面;不过温暖的他,内心却埋藏了一个无人知晓的痛苦回忆。他12日在个人IG贴上自己剪去高耸辫子头的影片,揭开这个被当成他「独特标记」的发型背后的悲伤故事。

「我在小学5年级开始留长头发的真实原因,是因为头发是我隐藏自己的伪装。」沃克自曝小学5年级时遭到亲戚性虐待,「我被性骚扰、强暴和性虐待,我甚至已经习惯,因为在那个年纪,我根本不知道这意味着什么。」他说自己是一个容易受欺骗又好奇的孩子,「我不知道真正世界样子。」

The real truth as to why i started doing this early 5th grade, it was a cloaking device for me. During the summer of my 5th grade year I was around more family. Some that names will be left alone I was around more. I was sexually harassed, raped, abused, I even got accustomed to it because being at that age you don’t know what is what. I was a gullible curious kid that didn’t know what the real world was. I had a mindset that my hair was something that I can control. My hair was what I can make and create and be mine. And it gave my confidence. As of recently I wasn’t at my best. Previous History popping up in my head and it sucked mentally “demons”..... because of this virus, I began to truly look at myself in the mirror and see who I truly was even behind closed doors. Long story short I have found peace and internal happiness through this journey god willingly. I forgave everyone even the people that don’t deserve it why? Because it’s dead weight. Time doesn’t wait on anyone so why should I waste my time on it ? Me cutting my hair was more than a cut. My hair was a mask of me hiding the insecurity’s that I felt the world wasn’t ready for. But now better then ever. Out with old. In with the new. I have shed my skin mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Life will always be hard. Gotta play with the cards your dealt with and try and make a winning hand. And if you lose. It’s never a lost. It’s a lesson . I’m gonna be off this for awhile still growing through this. Just know I love each and everyone one of y’all. Peace love and happiness

Lonnie Walker IV(@buddah)分享的贴文 于 PDT 2020 年 6月 月 11 日 下午 5:52 张贴

「我有一种心态,那就是头发是我可以控制的东西,那是属于我,我可以自己创造的东西,这给了我自信。」 沃克坦承最近「过去的恶魔」又缠上他,那些恶梦再次浮现在他的脑海中,影响了他的心理状况;不过因为疫情关系,他开始重新审视自己,正视那个真正的自己。

「我已经找到内心的平静与快乐,我原谅了所有的人,甚至那些不值得原谅的人。为什么呢?因为那太过沉重了。」沃克说,「时间不等人,所以我为什么要在这件事上浪费时间,我不单单是剪去头发,头发是我的面具,隐藏了我的不安全感。」

沃克遮住了自己的脸,头上高耸的辫子离开了他的身体,也意味着他丢掉了遮掩内心伤痛的「面具」,「但现在,我比任何时候感觉都更棒,告别过去,迎接新生。」他直言,「生活永远都很难,但要好好掌握手上的那副牌,试着赢得胜利。如果你输了,其实永远没有输这回事,那是一个教训。」

沃克的经纪人伯格(George Langberg)也透过声明表示,沃克确实长年活在幼时遭受性侵和性虐的阴影中,他愿意公开说出来,展现了无比的勇气力量,同时也减轻自己的负担,「他希望帮助那些也曾受到性虐而现在正在看他的故事的人,或是现在有类似遭遇的人,让他们知道自己并不孤单。」

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